Self-Acceptance and Empathy

Our world encourages us to look at ourselves. A lot! And so, we do—so much so that a selfie is now the most photographed thing among all things photographed! As of 2014, June 21^st is now National Selfie Day! (I hope you took a selfie to celebrate!) Why do we need a day to observe this obsession? Well, according to the UAE Moments Team at MSN we all have a desperate need for social approval and when we take a selfie and post it on social media, we are asking for validation, so having an official day to receive feedback “provides a platform for individuals to explore and express these emotions openly, fostering a culture of self-acceptance and empathy.”* But if we are looking to friends and strangers on social media for “self-acceptance and empathy” we are in for a world of hurt.

It is natural to want to be accepted and understood. We all need to be loved, but we often look for those things in people and places that cannot satisfy that need. We think that if we have a certain number of likes, comments, shares, and  then we will feel loved! But the void in our lives is bigger than any digital platform can handle.

Had social media been a thing in King Solomon’s time, he would have been posting pictures daily! He was desperate to find meaning and happiness and because he had the time (he was king) and money (he was king) to do it, he explored all areas of life—education, pleasure, wealth, work, charity, creativity, and reckless living. At the end of his search, he concluded that nothing made him happy for very long, and, therefore, nothing was meaningful. That’s why he repeated, “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity!”¹  The word “vanity” here could also be translated meaningless and purposeless and temporary and pointless! At the end of each search, he still felt a void in his life. And then he concluded (after 12 chapters and several years): “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.”²

He’s right. It’s true. Our duty is to “fear God and keep his commandments,” which is not the answer that most people would probably expect or wish to hear. Solomon’s conclusion might actually sound boring and oppressive to people. His colleagues (and ours) might have told him that the real answer to his search is “Don’t worry; be happy!” But, of course, Solomon tried that and it didn’t work! Our mistake (and his) is that we think that if we live for ourselves, just focus on what we want and need, we will discover our purpose and be happy! It’s not true. Ask Solomon (or read about his adventures in the book of Ecclesiastes).

People will forever be looking for “self-acceptance and empathy” as they try to find their place in the world. So, if that is you or someone you know, please consider the following truths:

If you wish that someone could know and understand you, read this: “O Lord, you have searched me and known me!”³ If you yearn for someone to care about every moment of your life, read this: “You know when I sit down and when I rise up.”⁴ If you want someone to take an interest in what you think, read this: “You discern my thoughts from afar.”⁴  If you need help in finding your path in life, read this: “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”⁵

God’s care for us is like no one else’s, and “his steadfast love endures forever”⁶—the only thing that never ends and the very thing that Solomon was looking for! We can waste our time and energy and look for acceptance and empathy on social media if we want, but we will only find what we are truly looking for in God.

¹Ecclesiastes 1:2   ²Ecclesiastes 12:13   ³Psalm 139:1   ⁴Psalm 139:2   ⁵Psalm 139:16   ⁶Psalm 136:1   *The Psychology of Selfies on National Selfie Day